Hey “middle-classer” – Have you finished with that Jealousy?

“My precious”…”Mine”… “Mine” … “Mine”….

Let’s admit it. Be honest. We’re all just jealous.

Trolling through the social media comments in response to the latest saga about British Prime Minister David Cameron’s financial worth I could smell the vicious negative thoughts of our jealous minds.

Oh! You’re not, are you…You’re just thinking about all the poor orphans in the world, is it…Be honest…Or are you thinking about why you deserve a fashion stylist more than the British Prime Minister’s wife; or that you deserved the five-star holiday more than the Kardarshians. Be true. Be honest.

Sure maybe you have philanthropical aspirations (most of us do), but are you sure you have it in you to be the next Mother Teresa and live your life for the poor and needy. If you were, then you can do it now. Mother Teresa did not need millions to do good. She just had a priceless heart.

If we’re true to ourselves, we’d know that we’re just jealous we can’t live that life. We just use poor innocent little children in poverty as an excuse to attack the rich. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a rich-lister and nor am I trying to support the “rich”. To be honest, the only list I probably am on is on the long-term mortgage list of a prominent NZ bank.

Let me be clear. I am not saying that we let the rich get richer at the expense of the rest of us. I think we need rigourous rules and regulations in place so the wider community can live with dignity regardless of their financial status. This may mean that we may need to put further legislation and proper tax laws in place to ensure fairness in finance.

That aside, it amazes me how much jealousy there is in the world. We’re jealous because we don’t have what they have.

In the case of the British Prime Minister some of us are jealous because their ancestors left them with so much wealth. What’s your solution to this then?

Eradicate capitalism! OK! What do we replace it with?

In the past, revolutionaries have tried various ways to make everyone “financially equal”. With all good intentions, some found a loop-hole and ended up lining their pockets. Interesting how socialist and communist USSR had so many millionaires. Or China? Are people truly equal in China? If that were true I am not sure why there are still very poor farmers and very rich “capital(ist) communists.”

I agree with the sentiments of all as to why there needs to be more even distribution of wealth and I for one will live a more comfortable life if this happened. However, this world is yet to find a system that works, where all men and women are equal and have equal opportunities and equal resources and live at peace with one another.

Unfortunately, we are amateurs in paradise and until we reach or create paradise there will always be differences – someone will always be richer than you, and someone will always have more opportunities than you. You & I will always be richer than someone else and we will always have more opportunities than someone else.  It’s all a matter of perspective. Truth be told, ALL of us in New Zealand, are one of the richest people in the world. Would it then be fair for someone who hasn’t got their basic human needs – food, water, clothing and shelter – met to say that we “middle class” New Zealand citizens cannot be paid as much as we are or that we cannot inherit our parents’ $100,000 home because they deserved it more than us? No doubt most of us will have a problem with this.

Sure, it’s vital that we continue to work towards tightening legislation and tax laws to ensure that the rules are fair. It’s important to support a welfare system that’s used (not misused) to support the elderly and those genuinely in need (we all need support at some stage). It’s also important we continue to evolve and find a new way of living where we are all content.

However, jealousy is not the answer. It does not create a truer, cleaner and more beautiful world. It only leads to chaos and destruction.

The next time we see a rich-lister or a celebrity, instead of being jealous, let’s look at the positives, count our blessings and be thankful that we are richer than many others in the world.

 

#SHARETHIS #comment

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Black or White: So long as you are FAIR

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In light of the recent Oscars #Ohsowhite campaigns and views, Sneha Gray writes that racism or colourism and perception of beauty in the media is not as clear-cut as black or white and that this trend exists not just in Hollywood but movie industries across the Globe.

 Growing up as a child in Southern India it was made clear to me that I would never be considered exceptionally beautiful or stunning…No one needed to overtly say it…It was just there…the rectangular box at home constantly had moving images of white and/or fair skinned people, fairy tales stories about characters like Snow White, and tips on how to be “fair and lovely”. I remember auditioning for a school play once only to be told by a teacher that another girl that was so “fair and lovely” was chosen for the part.

As a tom-boy child I loved playing cricket and soccer. This also meant that the harsh Indian sun darkened me considerably. I remember being told by well-intentioned people that I would never find a nice guy or be respected if I was dark. To be fair to them, in the world we lived in then (and perhaps now too), it was probably true.  I remember trying to remove the tan by trying to scrub out the dark skin tan under the shower in the hope that scrubbing hard with soap will remove the dark tan. More than racism, I call it colourism. This exists in most media industries, not just in Hollywood but also in Bollywood and other film industries across Asia and the globe.SNEHA GRAY BW

While beauty is only skin deep, its human nature to be the best we can be and that’s a good thing. It’s important to look and feel good and be fit to the best of our ability. But when we’re told either by words or deeds constantly by the film industry that fair or white is the ONLY way to be beautiful or talented and successful, then it becomes an issue.

Following the 88th Oscars just gone two strong thoughts prevail: On the one hand are those that suggest that there needs to be more variety and diversity of actors; the other group think its political correctness gone wrong and that if white actors performed better they should win the award.

While I agree with those with the latter view that the best person should win the award regardless of what their skin colour is, the point this group fails to realise is that if more talented, skilled and just as visually presentable darker skinned actors are given the opportunity to be cast in lead roles then more of them will be able to win the award. Proponents of this view, myself included, are not suggesting that the pendulum should swing the other way to say that ONLY dark-skinned is beautiful or talented, but that there would be balance so people of all skin-tones who are good actors and suit the role can have equal opportunity to be successful.

Hollywood has boldly taken a stance at changing negative perceptions about various social issues. Perhaps it’s time for the Academy to take a stance against racial prejudice or prejudice based on colour. If Hollywood takes a lead then perhaps other film industries like Bollywood will change their biased attitudes towards people that are darker skinned.  For instance, Bollywood and North India is still very biased against darker skinned people. Indian media do not hesitate to put down Hollywood and blame them for bias against Indian actors, but fail to realise that in their own right they put down the darker skinned Indian actors who are equally beautiful and fit and just as talented.

The Indian film industry is just one example of an Asian film industry that is biased against darker skinned people and actors. Many other Asian countries like China, Philippines and Thailand have been criticized about the same issue.

As long as the world exists there will always be some of us that are better looking than average; sing better than average; and act better than average.  For instance, personally, I may never look as aesthetically presentable or elegant as Cate Blanchett or Brie Larsen but there are many darker skinned girls that are just as beautiful and talented and can win the Oscar if they are only given the right opportunity.

Equally, it’s not fair to blame every white actor or singer as being racist or biased. Unless you are in a situation it’s impossible to understand how the other person feels.  Now that the issue is out in the open perhaps Hollywood can take the lead towards making this necessary social change where all men and women regardless of colourtone can have equal opportunity.

It’s easy to brush aside the issue and say it’s not that big a deal. However, Until this happens, there will always be subtle racism or colourism worldwide and girls like me will still be trying to scrub hard under the shower to wipe away our tan.

Come on Hollywood! Take the stand and make a difference.

A new look at teenage boredom

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In early February this year (2016), media articles and social media sites were flooded with differing views on who’s to blame for the deaths of two teenagers in #Masterton following a police chase. Amongst the varied views, a few opinions that jumped out at me came from those that blamed the police, parents and the community.

Let’s first consider the views of those that blamed the police for the crash. I’d be interested to know what the alternative was? Aside from the fact that the police had stopped their chase prior to the crash, what would have happened if the police had ignored the obviously speeding car and these lads had crashed into an innocent driver on the way to work for an early morning shift? Had the innocent driver been my loved one – father, mother, uncle, aunty, cousin, son, daughter, husband, wife – I certainly would have blamed the police for not stopping these lads when they had the opportunity.

Then there is a core group of social media commentators who have strong views on why they think the parents are to blame. While sometimes that is the case, it will be unfair to speculate and throw hurtful words at the parents, without knowing the facts. Unfortunately we seem to have created a culture where the rights of normal parents to discipline their kids and teenagers seems to have been taken away at the expense of a minority of child beaters and abusers. This sadly means that many parents are “threatened” by their unruly teens that they would call the police and make a complaint if the parent tries to discipline their child. For instance, I know of a normal regular kiwi parent who had a phone call from the school that their teenager had not turned up to school. As a responsible parent, this person had driven around town, found the teenager, held their arm and asked them to get in the car. Another teenager made a complaint to the police that this responsible kiwi parent was abusing their child which led to the police knocking on their door. This parent felt that they had lost their right to even discipline their child. What then is the solution to “disciplining” unruly teenagers?

The third group of commentators felt that it was the community’s fault. Well intentioned social worker Alan Maxwell was “angry” that “these kids have such limited choices and the community is so apathetic to it all.” He went on to say that that they were just “bored” and that if “we” don’t give them things to do they make “stupid choices.” In my view, however well-intentioned and passionate his point of view is, this only instills a kind of quiet arrogance amongst teenagers that they can get away with anything.  I remember once observing a friend who politely spoke to an unruly teenager who was dumping rubbish at a private building and dirtying the walls. A person who called themselves the “elder” suggested to my friend that we had no right to speak harshly or “put down” a young person because that would “hurt” them. !!!!!!!

Kids and teenagers need to be loved, protected and feel secure. However, this is not achieved by providing them freedom without boundaries. Mr Maxwell says that “At some point, as a community, we have to take responsibility, otherwise these kids are not going to be the only ones [to die] this year.”  In a way Mr Maxwell is right. As a community member I do think we need to take responsibility.

We need to take responsibility and change the airy fairy way society is asked to handle teenagers. Let’s work toward creating strong, free, honest, ethical and responsible teens. This means that we are allowed to tell them firmly where their boundaries lie and enforce the boundaries; direct them to the amazing opportunities available to them and encourage them to put their minds to use so they don’t get “bored”; teaching them that stealing (cars or anything else) is not the right thing to do; advising them that the choices they make as teenagers can have a lifelong impact not just on them but their families too.

Let’s get responsible by giving back responsible parents the right to discipline their children in a safe manner. Let’s give them the right to give their teenagers a strict curfew time. Let’s give them the right to make them get their teenagers into the car if they are out past their curfew time. Let’s give parents the right to say No to their teenagers.

Let’s get responsible by not making excuses that the teens were “bored” but point them to the abundant boredom tackling opportunities available in New Zealand’s door step. Let’s train youth workers to teach teens that they can indeed go for a walk, swim in the river, climb trees or go for a push bike ride (things we did when we were kids and when no one needed to keep us from getting “bored”). Perhaps then come 10 pm tiredness will set in and the only place a teenager will want to go to is to bed.

This entire saga is sad in so many ways. Naughty though they may have been, it’s devastating when young people go before their time. I am not suggesting that we become so strict that we create robotic kids that are “perfect”. We have all made mistakes as teenagers but for most of us the kinds of things kids these days think they have the right to get up-to was not tolerated by society. Life had more boundaries. These boundaries kept us safe.

Perhaps, contrary to what Hollywood portrays, teenagers are not “mini–adults” and we need to become more “responsible” and create more boundaries to keep these teenagers safe until they become mature. This way they can have a lifetime of adventure without having their life snuffed out in their prime because of a life lived without boundaries.

Let’s find that middle ground where teenagers can create positive fun filled child-hood memories and live to tell the tale.

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(Sneha Gray is a writer and dream catcher who currently lives in the Sunny Bay of Plenty)